What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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