You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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What? Yes.

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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