Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What did the white guy say to the black guy? What's up?

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What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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