What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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I woke up today

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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