At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -16

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops