Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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