Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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punchline below punchline above

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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