A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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sure!

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops