Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a green man.

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

You idiot.

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

jibby jobby

If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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