awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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Continents are large islands.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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