A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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