Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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25

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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CHORGLUND

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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