What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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What is Green and smells like Yellow Paint Green Paint

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops