a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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No.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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What's the best time to visit a dentist? Generally every six months or so.

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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