Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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I thought it was the WHITE house. C'mon Obama. C'mon

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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