a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

What is full of water and drowning people A pool

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

What is your bill about? Clinton

The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

A woman is carried out of a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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