Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What did death say to life? Go die

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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