why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man? A person

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops