You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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