How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Gay's

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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