roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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God

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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