Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am quite mature.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down -16

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops