Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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What did the fridge say when I opened it? Nothing.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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