A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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