Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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