Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

Trump will make America great again.

How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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