Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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