Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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There is something in my butt what is It. My thong

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What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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