What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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andrew wagner

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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so how about that irline food

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops