what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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