What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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boys

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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