Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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men's rights activists

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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