What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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