Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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Women's Rights

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him. A horse walks into a bar Barman says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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