Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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why are balck people black because they are

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Have you ever noticed how those little packets of sweetner are really handy to have around when you like your coffee to be sweeter than its default bitterness?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops