Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

One day I went to the shop and bought some milk. THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE turtle man came with me. YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE live action

Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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