An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

what do you call a monkey? a monkey

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

Why did you step on my watermelon?

whats the stage after cancer? you die

I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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