you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A American, a Brit and a Mexican decided to bet on who could tell the funniest joke. The one that won told a great joke indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops