How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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