One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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