what did the tree say to the other tree? Don't leaf me!

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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