roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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