How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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did u here bout the guy who found 500 dollars on the ground? yup he is 500 dollars richer

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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