A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

VAL SUCKS

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Barack Obama plays basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Basically

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops