It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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A car walks into a bar.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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