I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

Whats green? The color green.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

ask me if im a door yes

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

Knock knock Shut up

Female rights.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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