Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops