Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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