what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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