Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Nuclear Bombs are bad. But erections are good.......as long as they are stroked

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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