Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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poopy is poopy

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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hey, my names mark.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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