Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Good afternoon.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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A woman wears a dress.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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