How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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